How To Pick Up Girls

I was introduced (as a joke) to an amusing book called How to Pick Up Girls, published in the 70s and written by Eric Weber. This piece is priceless. There are chapters entitled "Be Cool," "Be Funny," and "Say Her name." The author talks about women like we are aliens that must be studied and examined before approaching.

Some funny tips, compliments of my new favorite pick-up-line book-- and a girls point of view.

"Do you like this blouse?"
- when in a department store, tell a girl you're shopping for your sister.
... hilarious! But, you know? I think this may actually work. Think about it, especially if a guy is kind of cute. He's probably already got your attention because he's in the women's section of the store. I think it would be best if he acted a little scared, lost and desperate. But it could turn into you helping him shop for a while. I just wonder, would he then buy "the perfect shirt," or try to sneak out of spending the $30 somehow? And I hope if a guy does this he actually has a sister or else I would think he was shady. But I would give this approach 4 out of 5 stars.

how about this "Excuse me, but you are terrific-looking."
- the direct approach.
... hmmm, I don't know. I would smile and probably say thank you. I have had this one before but without the word "terrific." It's flattering but sometimes a little mystery is good, too. I wouldn't recommend starting off so direct but maybe after talking for a little bit, admit that you thought the girl was pretty so you were nervous to talk to her. A friend of mine and I were out the other night and a guy approached us and just started with "hi," but eventually he told us we were intimidating because we were so pretty but he was relieved we were cool (and sorry we both have serious boyfriends). Wow, talk about flattery. But it made him look a little vulnerable, too. So maybe that's the key: confidence mixed with vulnerability. Does that even make sense? I would give this strategy a 3.5 out of 5 stars.

last one "... if you happen to be in a singles' bar some crowded Friday night and you see a girl you dig, don't hesitate. Don't knock yourself out thinking of a witty approach. All you have to say is, 'Hi, how ya doin'."
- don't sweat it
... All girls are different, but I would probably not respond well to this. I think it's great if a guy put some thought behind his approach. I would love a joke, a compliment, hesitation of some sort. I would probably answer this one with "Fine. Thank you," then return to what I was doing. A little creativity next time? Then again, confidence is attractive. So, like Mr. Weber also recommends, practice pick ups for about a month before you actually expect to succeed. Just say anything for a while and see what works for you, but for at least a month don't expect much of a response.
I would give this approach 2.5 out of 5 stars also.

Summary: I don't think it's the line a guy uses that's as important as the way he says it. If it's sincere, a little shy, but mysterious at the same time- with a smile and perhaps a joke to follow up, it is sure to work for a girl like me. But please, wait to ask for a phone number until it is obvious she is into you. Worst pick up lines are ones that involve someone asking your number. For some reason I think that's a bit intrusive.